he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize