You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
