Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
