the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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