David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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