I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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