Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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