just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
