im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
