Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
