Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
