porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
