Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
