how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Randomize
