i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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