i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
