I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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