jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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