just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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