Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
