I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
