i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
