I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
