This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
