I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
