lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
