She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
