woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
