i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
