We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
