ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
