imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
