You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
