I CAN MOONWALK!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
