I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
