The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
