my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
