we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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