if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
