My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
