Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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