There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
