why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
