Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
