And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
