I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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