I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
