addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
