i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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