He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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