it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
